Sometimes I feel like I don't fit in with my gender because I'm not constantly boy crazy.
I was talking with a friend the other day about boys, and she asked me who I liked, and I thought about it and realized that I don't really have a crush on anyone. It's weird because I really just haven't thought about liking someone in awhile. I am honestly completely satisfied with God right now. Sure, I may be attracted to certain attributes of certain guys, but I'm definitely not crushing over anyone. If anything, I am just realizing what attributes in guys that are desirable. She thought it was the weirdest thing and could not believe that I didn't have a crush on anyone.
I told her that I wanted God to have my heart before I gave it to someone else.
It's like it's wrong in our society today to not crush on someone. It's sad, we have neglected the love of our Creator. We forget to pursue God and to let God love us the way He wants to.
It just amazes me how many girls are trying to find someone to crush on. They move on from one guy to the next. It's like they would go insane if they didn't have a boy to crush over. It's ridiculous, and it breaks me heart. I wish everyone could experience the true satisfaction and love I have experienced. God is perfect love, and it captivates me more than any other being.
My desire is that God will captivate our hearts and that we will stay captivated by only Him. Take the time to get to know God, our Creator. He knew you before you even existed, and He wants to have a relationship with us. Being a Christian is not about what it takes to get to Heaven, it's about what it takes to love God and to love others.
I've been reading Crazy Love by Francis Chan, and it has been so encouraging in my journey with God and letting Him captivate my heart.
A few things that stood out:
"When we love God because we feel we should love Him, instead of genuinely loving out of our true selves, we have forgotten who God really is...we have to intentionally and consistently remind ourselves of Him."
"We forget that we already have everything we need in Him...we quickly forget that He is worthy to be worshipped and loved."
"Why are we so quick to forget God? Who do we think we are? Even though I glimpse God's holiness, I am still dumb enough to forget that life is all about God and not about me at all."
"If life were stable, I'd never need God's help. Since it's not, I reach out for Him regularly. I am thankful for the unknowns and that I don't have control, because it makes me run to God."
"The irony is that while God doesn't need us but still wants us, we desperately need God but don't really want Him most of the time. He treasures us and anticipates our departure from this earth to be with Him - and we wonder, indifferently, how much we have to do for Him to get by."
"As we begin to focus more on Christ, loving Him and others becomes more natural."
"I need God to help me love God."