Monday, March 29, 2010

Sometimes I feel like I don't fit in with my gender because I'm not constantly boy crazy.

I was talking with a friend the other day about boys, and she asked me who I liked, and I thought about it and realized that I don't really have a crush on anyone. It's weird because I really just haven't thought about liking someone in awhile. I am honestly completely satisfied with God right now. Sure, I may be attracted to certain attributes of certain guys, but I'm definitely not crushing over anyone. If anything, I am just realizing what attributes in guys that are desirable. She thought it was the weirdest thing and could not believe that I didn't have a crush on anyone.

I told her that I wanted God to have my heart before I gave it to someone else.

It's like it's wrong in our society today to not crush on someone. It's sad, we have neglected the love of our Creator. We forget to pursue God and to let God love us the way He wants to.

It just amazes me how many girls are trying to find someone to crush on. They move on from one guy to the next. It's like they would go insane if they didn't have a boy to crush over. It's ridiculous, and it breaks me heart. I wish everyone could experience the true satisfaction and love I have experienced. God is perfect love, and it captivates me more than any other being.
My desire is that God will captivate our hearts and that we will stay captivated by only Him. Take the time to get to know God, our Creator. He knew you before you even existed, and He wants to have a relationship with us. Being a Christian is not about what it takes to get to Heaven, it's about what it takes to love God and to love others.

I've been reading Crazy Love by Francis Chan, and it has been so encouraging in my journey with God and letting Him captivate my heart.

A few things that stood out:

"When we love God because we feel we should love Him, instead of genuinely loving out of our true selves, we have forgotten who God really is...we have to intentionally and consistently remind ourselves of Him."

"We forget that we already have everything we need in Him...we quickly forget that He is worthy to be worshipped and loved."

"Why are we so quick to forget God? Who do we think we are? Even though I glimpse God's holiness, I am still dumb enough to forget that life is all about God and not about me at all."

"If life were stable, I'd never need God's help. Since it's not, I reach out for Him regularly. I am thankful for the unknowns and that I don't have control, because it makes me run to God."

"The irony is that while God doesn't need us but still wants us, we desperately need God but don't really want Him most of the time. He treasures us and anticipates our departure from this earth to be with Him - and we wonder, indifferently, how much we have to do for Him to get by."

"As we begin to focus more on Christ, loving Him and others becomes more natural."

"I need God to help me love God."

Friday, March 12, 2010


The other week, a few friends and I brought sandwiches to the homeless tent community downtown St. Louis. It was a really great service experience, and it opened my eyes to see how these people live day after day. Through service, I have learned so much about myself. My heart is to serve others. I want to be available to be used by God, I want to continue knowing God more and more through service, and I want to glorify God in everything I do.
It was amazing to see how appreciative these people were that we brought them sandwiches. It was a simple act of service that did not cost a lot of money, and did not take very much effort, but it meant so much more to them. We sat under the tent by the fire and had lunch together with these people. One kid, named Patrick, actually grew up in Greenville, and moved to St. Louis when he became homeless. I told him I would being him back a Greenville lanyard, and that simple act meant so much to him.
This makes me long for simplicity. I want to be able to appreciate the little things in life. One of my biggest fears is that I will get so caught up with myself that I miss God in the smallest places. God’s voice is not heard in the wind or storms, but in a whisper. I want to live a life of service and simplicity and disciplined silence so that I will be able to hear God and I won’t have to concentrate so hard on having to listen for His voice.
One thing that struck me the most when we brought the sandwiches to the homeless was how giving they were in return. In one of their tents they had some food stocked up that they had received. There were two unopened packages of banana bread, and one of the guys told us to take it home with us as their gift of appreciation. It was really hard for us to take the bread from them because I am sure it is a lot harder for them to attain bread than it is for us, but it would be rude to not accept the gift either. In a way I feel like the homeless served us more than we served them. Even though we brought them sandwiches that they could not afford, they still gave us banana bread. That is true service, and that is what I long for.

Thursday, March 4, 2010

Present your bodies as living sacrifices to God - Romans 12:1-2

"Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will." (Romans 12:1-2)

Before you think that Christianity has everything to do with being merciful, realize that Christianity is first having everything to do with living a life of worship.  What we do with our bodies is our spiritual worship. Before we can be merciful, we must be full of worship, otherwise mercy will be be mere social agendas. Your life simply cannot be merciful if you aren't worshipful first.
Our bodies were created for worship. We worship God for His mercy.

So what does Paul mean by spiritual act of worship?
He means that we need to present a sacrifice, and not to be confused with Old Testament sacrifices. The blood of bulls and goats won't take away our sin. Jesus is the ultimate, perfect sacrifice.

1 Corinthians 5:7 - "Get rid of the old yeast that you may be a new batch without yeast—as you really are. For Christ, our Passover lamb, has been sacrificed."

Hebrews 10:12 - "But when this priest had offered for all time one sacrifice for sins, he sat down at the right hand of God."

We are called to sacrifice our bodies in worship.

Paul makes 4 points: bodies, living, holy, and acceptable to God.

Christianity is not only a mind transformation or spiritual transformation, but a body transformation as well.  God wants our everything, including our bodies.  Some people may think, "but my body is flawed," or "I don't like my body."  That is not the point.  We do not have to offer perfect sacrifices because we aren't sacrificing our bodies for sin; we are sacrificing for God.  The sacrifice for sin was already made on the cross.  Our bodies do not deserve anything.  Our bodily sacrifices are acceptable to God through Jesus.  Through Jesus is the only way we can be accepted.  God is not after our bodily looks; but our bodily behaviors.  It's all about what God wants us to do with our bodies.
The reason we have a body is to make the beauty of Christ known visible.
This can be seen in Isaiah 53.

"Who has believed our message
and to whom has the arm of the LORD been revealed?
He grew up before him like a tender shoot,
and like a root out of dry ground.
He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him,
nothing in his appearance that we should desire him.
He was despised and rejected by men,
a man of sorrows, and familiar with suffering.
Like one from whom men hide their faces
he was despised, and we esteemed him not.
Surely he took up our infirmities
and carried our sorrows,
yet we considered him stricken by God,
smitten by him, and afflicted.
But he was pierced for our transgressions,
he was crushed for our iniquities;
the punishment that brought us peace was upon him,
and by his wounds we are healed."

The beauty of Christ is not found in looks, but in love.  We are called to be models of mercy and love.  If only everyone could understand this.  We are raised in a society where we are told that we have to look a certain way and we compare our bodies to other people.  It's really sad.  I admit I have done it too.  I think almost everyone has, and it's such a shame.  If only we could see people the way God sees them, with love and mercy.  That is my prayer.  The only thing that matters is how much we use our bodies to love.  We have bodies to give evidence that Jesus is our savior.

"Present your body as a living sacrifice."  We are alive in order to make Jesus known.  Make every act of your living body put to death everything in your life that dishonors Christ. When do you feel most alive? Most Christians will say it is when they are evangelizing.  When they share God's love with others, they feel alive.  We don't feel alive when we live for ourselves, but it is by grace when we live for others and for God.

"spiritual worship"
Romans 12:1 can correlate with Romans 6:13
"Do not offer the parts of your body to sin, as instruments of wickedness, but rather offer yourselves to God, as those who have been brought from death to life; and offer the parts of your body to him as instruments of righteousness."
Do not present yourself to sin, but to God as those who have been brought from death to life.  Let every action be one of righteousness.
Holiness is what I long for.

Acceptable to God
What does this add to holiness?
Paul adds "God" to make it acceptable.
Without God, we cannot be acceptable, but because of God's mercy we can be acceptable.

Before your bodies are designed for mercy, they are designed for worship. Mercy is the goal and means for worship.  Mercy is what displays God and makes Him beautiful.
Worship is the fuel and the goal for mercy.

It may not be coincidence that our tongue is so much smaller than our arms and legs.  Maybe that was God's way of showing us that actions are louder than words.  Use your body for Him.  Use your body to glorify God, and remember that you were bought with a price!  Go serve Him. :)

"Take my life and let it be
consecrated, Lord, to Thee.
Take my moments and my days,
let them flow in ceaseless praise.
Take my hands and let them move
at the impulse of Thy love.
Take my feet and let them be
swift and beautiful for Thee.

Take my voice and let me sing
always, only for my King.
Take my lips and let them be
filled with messages from Thee.
Take my silver and my gold
not a mite would I withhold.
Take my intellect and use
every power as You choose.

Take my will and make it Thine
it shall be no longer mine.
Take my heart it is Thine own
it shall be Thy royal throne.
Take my love, my Lord I pour
at Your feet its treasure store
Take myself and I will be
ever, only, all for Thee.
Take myself and I will be
ever, only, all for Thee.

Here am I, all of me.
Take my life, it's all for Thee."

- Take My Life by Chris Tomlin

Tuesday, March 2, 2010


I am a true coffee addict. In fact, I'm sipping on some coffee right now.
I just explained to my roommate how I do my coffee. She's trying to come up with a new word for this condition...something along the lines of ridiculous.
Every time I make coffee, I prepare my coffee maker for the next time I want coffee.
I put the water in, the filter, and the coffee grounds. All I have to do is press the on button whenever I want coffee.
When my mug is empty, I clean it out and put the creamer in and put it in the fridge so all I have to do is add the coffee when it's ready.
I even have the timer set for 8:55 every morning so that it automatically starts itself so I won't forget, and I can start my day with chapel and coffee. (Is there a better way to start a day?)

Plus, I drink fair trade coffee, so that makes me feel ten times better about it! :)

Monday, March 1, 2010

It Is Well

I am learning to be at peace with the Lord.  I am always longing for something more, and I am always looking for areas in my life to change to grow closer to God.  I think as Christians, we can get so caught up in trying to fix ourselves that we forget to sit in the presence of God and enjoy it, feel His unconditional love.  We tend to focus on areas of our lives to be changed, which is good to do, but we shouldn't do it so much that it interferes with the joy we receive from God's presence.
I want to live a life of worship every day, whether it be through pain and suffering or praise and joy.  I want the fire in my heart to spread.  I want others to notice something different.  I want to be captured by God's never ending love.  I want to be Christ to those who don't know Him.
God, take over my life. I'm letting go, falling into You so You can guide my steps from here on out.