Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Do Do Do Do Do (something I wrote awhile back)

We know that the law is spiritual; but I am unspiritual, sold as a slave to sin. I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.

Romans 7:14-20 (New International Version)

I think the English Standard Version is so much easier to follow, but I put the NIV one up just because it's fun with all the do's. :)

For we know that the law is spiritual, but I am of the flesh, sold under sin. For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate. Now if I do what I do not want, I agree with the law, that it is good. So now it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me. For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me.

Romans 7:14-20 (ESV)

Paul is arguing that the fault lies with sin, not with the law. Through the law, sin is revealed in all its hideousness, and the law is vindicated as good.

Just because I am a Christian does not mean that I do not struggle with sin. I struggle so much with it, every day. However, through the power of the Holy Spirit we should be growing and have that desire to be more Christ-like. Therefore, that is why we hate sin. I hate the fact that I sin, and God knows this because He knows my heart. I do desire to do the right thing, but it's so easy for my flesh (sinful nature) to take over. We are not perfect, and we do not have the ability to be perfect. I want to be righteous, but evil is always there.

However, God's love is so amazing that He did send Jesus to die on the cross as a living sacrifice for our sins. He looks at the heart. If he didn't, we would all be goners. But He does love us, and He knows that I hate sin, and He won't ever take away my salvation. This is no excuse that sin is okay, because it is not. God hates sin so much more than we do, and he won't even allow a bit of it in His kingdom. When you truly become a Christian, you will hate sin just as much. God looks at that, and that is how we are judged.

Another thing to think about:

“All things are lawful,” but not all things are helpful. “All things are lawful,” but not all things build up.
1 Corinthians 10:23 (ESV)

NIV puts it this way: All things are permissible, but not all things are beneficial.

This is another thing that I struggle with. I want to serve God to my best ability and give Him all the glory. All things are permissible, even if we do screw up. But God can still work through that. It may not have been as beneficial as if we followed God's will in the first place, but God can work through anything to make good, which is why all things are permissible. God's will is perfect. We will benefit the most if we follow His plan. For me, I struggle with trying to figure out His plan. From experience, I've found that God never tells us what to do, however, you will just kind of know if you keep praying about it and it feels right. If things start lining up, it is probably God's will.

Sunday, December 6, 2009


I think so many times we forget that God has a perfect plan for us. I've been trying so hard to figure out why it's so hard to trust God. From experience, I know things turn out so much better when I do leave it in God's hands, so what holds me back from fully trusting Him every waking moment?

I, like most other Christians, go through times where my faith seems dry. It bothers me so much, and my first response should be to turn to God and to scripture. However, I usually call up a friend or sometimes just ignore it, thinking it will pass. This is not true. Dry spells don't just pass unless either God slaps you in the face until you repent, or you realize for yourself that you are taking a wrong turn. It happens to every Christian I know. Is it just because we are human, or is there really a way to fully trust God with every single decision we make? Is it possible to let God control every aspect of our lives and not have to worry about anything?

I do not think it is possible. Even though Jesus tells us to not worry, and scripture tells us that God has a perfect plan for us and to fully surrender to God, we will always be human and sin will always be our nature. The concept of freewill is what makes the beauty in repentance and surrender. The Bible tells us to fully trust God and not worry about anything else as encouragement. That's our goal. Letting God control our lives should be our desire, and yes, we will mess up because there will always be sin, but that is why we have grace and mercy to justify the times we have messed up. This is why God judges our hearts, and not just our actions. And that is where love comes in to play. Love God. Love people.

Wow, my mind is just all over the place tonight. So many words and concepts to think about.

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

This Is My Struggle


am i good enough?

Lord, I am so unworthy.
My heart longs for you.
Break me.
Fill me.