Our God reigns forever. He is our hope and our strong deliverer.
He doesn't faint, He won't grow weary.
He's the defender of the weak
He comforts those in need
He lift us up on wings like eagles
God, You are everlasting.
So, we sang this song in chapel and I realized that this is something I struggle with so much. Waiting on God's timing. I want to have everything figured out for myself, for my life. Sometimes, I just wish there was a simple formula for life. Like, plug in X here and Y there to get Z. Unfortunately and fortunately, life does not work this way. I struggle with expectations. I expect one thing to happen if I do something for that result. But, it doesn't always come out the way I planned. Sometimes, it's just so frustrating and I get so impatient with God. We have to remember that strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord. This is so hard. I find it easier when I remind myself that God created me, and He knows everything about me. He knows every decision I'm going to make. So, obviously He knows what is best for me. But why do I still want to control my life myself? Is it stubbornness, impatience, selfishness? I think it is all those things, but I still know that God has a great plan for me, so why can't I just give myself completely to Him? What is holding me back? What is holding you back?
Another song that really hit me was How He Loves Us. I heard the lyrics, "He is jealous for me. His love is like a hurricane." This is so true. So many people try to find a replacement for God's love. They run to a boy or to a girl looking for this love. No love surpasses God's love. We all long to be loved unconditionally. God is so jealous for us. He is always waiting with open arms ready to love us and to never stop. It breaks his heart to watch us go day by day just going through the motions and not giving ourselves fully to Him. Think about how bad it hurts when a boyfriend or girlfriend tells you they don't love you anymore. It's like that, but infinity times harder for God. He created each and every one of us. He knitted you together and He gave you your body and He calls you beautiful. He wants a relationship with you. That is why He created you! He is waiting for us to run to him. After we do this and experience God's amazing love, we obtain the ability to love others. Love comes from God. We can't be in a relationship or dependent on someone else until we first experience God's love. Or else, we will never fully be satisfied. That was just something I've been thinking about. It took me the hard way to figure this out. I gave my heart away to someone else. I put that person before God, and I became dissatisfied. I thought I knew better, and I've heard the stories, but God had to put me through that situation in order to fully understand it. And now I can tell other people my story and try to help them see how wide and how deep the love of God is.
"You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body." - 1 Corinthians 6:19-20
"and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing." - 1 Corinthians 13:2
"I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me." - Galations 2:20
"And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge - that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God." - Ephesians 3:17-19